How My Internship Challenged My Faith
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At the beginning of the Kensington Church internship I often dreamt about the person I would become at the end of the 10 months because of the solid education, equipment and empowerment the program offers. I declared I would walk out changed, more confident, more in love with Jesus and ready to step into the mission God had for the rest of my life. While I have certainly grown in my faith as I near the end of this chapter, I admit to being left with shrugged shoulders about the same uncertainty I came in with—though not necessarily about the same things.
I can’t stand on a platform and boldly proclaim all my ordained gifts and weaknesses, my life’s specific calling or give you the recipe for a consistent revelatory quiet time. I couldn’t tell you what Psalm 119:11 says or how exactly I plan to serve the Lord in my life’s next season.
This longing to arrive at the destination of who I’m supposed to be daunts me daily. But the one thing that I’ve learned through my internship program is that self-discovery and finding out my purpose is a process that is made perfect in God’s timing.
The thing about endings is they are telling. They whisper truths we often ignore when we are in the midst of something. By this ending, I realize I entered this 10-month internship wanting to carry out with me the answers, the certainty, and the best practices so I could simply carry on. I hoped I could hold up my knowledge and good habits like a trophy and continue on my way to the next good thing. But I now know this perspective is absent of one arguably important thing: faith. Huh, ironic.
I am leaving more acquainted with the passions that make my heart quicken. I am more confident knowing what unique talents I bring to the table. I am ignited with the knowledge that I really do need people who love me and are available at 2 a.m. I am ever humbled in realizing Jesus deserves my every breath. And I am deeply inspired by those who have led me to live a life fully dedicated to the Kingdom. And that, that might mean that I have arrived at who God created me to be. I’ve arrived at the beautiful process that he is leading and guiding me through with grace, mercy, and understanding.
If you find yourself in the Kensington Internship you won’t leave perfect, but you will not leave unchanged.
Find out how 10 months can change your life, like it did mine, at kensingtonchurch.org/interns.
-Taylor Kanigowski, 2018 Intern
